


Look at all those chickens

by 1TheArtOfLosing1



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: And also: Zelda hates Mamma Mia, Chickens, Gen, I should not be allowed to post anything on this website, Kinda AU in which the Spellmans don’t own a mortuary but a flower shop, Rated T for offensive language towards the chickens, flower shop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23836438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1TheArtOfLosing1/pseuds/1TheArtOfLosing1
Summary: I asked my sister if she had any ideas for a new one shot. Her answer was: chickens and a flower shopYes you read that right
Relationships: Ambrose Spellman & Hilda Spellman, Hilda Spellman & Zelda Spellman
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	Look at all those chickens

**Author's Note:**

> If you don’t know where the title is from... I can’t even begin to explain how disappointed I am
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this masterpiece

It was a rainy Sunday afternoon when Zelda made her way back home from church. The Spellman’s flower shop was closed and she was in dying need of some rest. Valentine had been two days ago, it was one of the busiest times of the year and she hadn’t had time to get a proper break in what seemed like forever. 

But when she entered the shop, the sight that greeted her made all hopes of having some peace disappear. 

Tons, and tons of chickens were toddling around the shop, pecking at the most expensive flowers and clucking loudly. Everywhere Zelda looked, the feathered animals were ruining the furniture and seemed to love every second of it. At least five chickens were sitting on the counter, one of them was pooping on the till while the others watched. Shattered vases and crushed flowers were covering the floor and instead of marble flower pots, the shelves on the walls were now filled with those infernal creatures. 

“Hildegard!” Zelda screamed, her eyes wide and her heart beating like a maniac. The sound of her voice made all those pearly little eyes turn to her. After staring at her for a few seconds, the tiny bastards continued destroying every inch of the flower shop. 

Hilda’s head popped up from behind the counter, a nervous, guilty smile on her face and her chubby cheeks slightly flustered. “How was church?” she asked, wiping the surface of the counter with a wipe as the chickens on it didn’t move an inch. 

“What the hell has happened here?” Zelda’s purse slipped from her hand and fell onto the floor with a thud, earning a few chickens to turn their heads towards her once more. 

Dropping her wipe, Hilda simply shrugged and looked around the room, “Nothing much, I watered the plants and-“

“Don’t pretened these chickens aren’t here! Where did they come from? And turn that infernal song down!” 

Zelda moved over to the radio, which was playing Mamma Mia, all the while trying not to step on one of those little dickheads. 

“It calms them! Believe me, you don’t want to see what happens to them if you turn it off.” Hilda warned, a desperate look on her face. Zelda dropped her hand from the mute button with a deep sigh. Out of all songs, it had to be the one Zelda hated most in this world. 

“Now answer my question, where did they come from?” She stepped to the back of the room, where Hilda was fiddling with the hem of her dress, and shifting her weight from one foot to another. 

Lowering her head, Hilda bit her lip softly as her eyes darted around. “Well, you see, there was this truck. A truck with chickens, obviously, and it was on its way to the slaughterhouse!”

“Because that is where these damn things belong!” Zelda stated, hovering over her little sister with an arched eyebrow. 

Hilda rolled her eyes and looked up, “It was parked just around the corner of the street and the driver was nowhere to be found.” She stopped and started wrapping a piece of hair around her finger. 

Zelda tilted her head, “And?”

For a moment Hilda just stared at one of the chickens, before admitting: “Well Ambrose and I decided to save as many as we could.”

Gaping, Zelda crossed her arms in front of her chest as a dry chuckle emerged from her throat, “And of course Ambrose was involved in all of this as well.” She glared down at her sister, “You do realise you just stole a bunch of chickens, do you?”

“We didn’t steal them, Zelds! We saved them. They were gonna be brutally slaughtered! I couldn’t let that happen.”

“They’re chickens, sister. It’s what they are bred for.”

Hilda’s jaw visibly tightened. She turned around, took a brown chicken in her arms and held it in front of Zelda’s face. “Look at her eyes. She’s still in shock of her near death experience!”

Zelda huffed, and raised her eyebrows at the chicken, “It’s a shame death didn’t find her.”

Gasping, Hilda pressed one side of the chicken’s head against her bosom and covered the other side with her hand, “Hush! You’re upsetting Daisy.”

“You gave them names?” Zelda chuckled in disbelief, but Hilda’s expression told her that it was true. 

“Why not, eh?” she asked, a questioning look on her face, “You have a name, I have a name, why can’t they have one?”

“You can’t seriously know every single one of their names.” 

“‘Course I do!” Hilda defended, putting the chicken on the floor again as the animal fluttered its wings. 

“Then what’s this one called?” Zelda asked, pointing at a dark one. 

“Rose.”

She pointed at another one. 

“Violet.”

And another. 

“Hyacinth.”

And another. 

“Alfredo.”

Zelda shook her head and wondered what she had done wrong to get this moron to be her sister. “Well they still cannot stay here.”

Hilda’s eyes went wide and her lips parted in pure horror, “We can’t give them back! It’ll be the death of them.” 

“Of course we’re not returning them,” Zelda gave her a small reassuring smile, “I know someone who has a large farm. We’ll let him pick them up and they can stay there until the end of their miserable little lives.” 

She kicked at a white chicken who had the nerve of pecking at her high heel. Maybe that one deserved to die anyway. 

“Really? Oh Zelds!” Hilda exclaimed, launching herself forward to wrap her arms around her sister in excitement. 

Pushing Hilda away, Zelda took a few step backwards, “Don’t touch me, you’re covered in feathers!” 

“Oh sorry.” Hilda grimaced as she tried to brush some feathers off of her clothes, but didn’t quite succeed to do so. “And by the way, you can’t tell him where they came from. The police are looking for them.”

A loud sigh escaped Zelda’s mouth as she rolled her eyes and went to make the phone call. 

***

A few hours later, Jack arrived and helped Hilda and Ambrose get all the chickens in his truck. Normally, Zelda would offer to give them a hand, but since it was them who caused this mess, they obviously had to do the hard work. And above all, Zelda’s hands were far too delicate for such a task. 

Finally, the flower shop was chicken free once more, before Hilda sauntered towards Zelda carrying one of the feathered creatures she recognized to be Daisy. She silently damned herself for already knowing one of their names. Apparently, it was Hilda’s favorite one. 

She was staring down at the floor, two blonde locks framing the sides of her face as she chewed her lips nervously. 

Zelda knew what was coming. 

“Zelds?” Hilda’s eyes briefly darted up, before her gaze fell down again, “D’you think we could- maybe... keep one of them?” 

The chicken in question looked at Zelda, it’s eyes full of mischief. In all honesty, Zelda hated chickens, but she also knew how easily her sister got attached to animals. “Just this one?” Zelda asked, trying to keep her voice stern, but failing miserably. 

Immediately, Hilda’s head snapped up, her eyes bright and full of enthusiasm. She nodded eagerly, “Of course, Zelds. Just Daisy!”

For a moment, Zelda glared at her as if she was considering it, though in her head she knew denying her sister this was not an option. “Very well then.”

“Thank you Zelds!” Hilda shrieked, jumping up like a young girl. 

“But I don’t want that thing anywhere near me, or she’ll end up as our next dinner.” Zelda warned, but Hilda only grinned at her and spinned around with Daisy clutched against her chest. 

Hilda twirled around the shop, muttering to the chicken about how much she loved her, before she came in front of the window and stopped in her tracks. Jack’s truck drove passed as Ambrose came inside. “And they’re off to their new life.” he smiled at his aunt, but when he saw the confused look on her face, he frowned. 

“Zelds?” Hilda called as the truck disappeared out of her sight, “Why does his truck say ‘The best roast chicken in town?” When no response followed, Hilda turned sharply on her heel and saw that her sister was nowhere to be seen. “Zelda Phiona Spellman, what have you done?!” 

Ambrose couldn’t help but chuckle lightly as his auntie angrily stormed off in search of Zelda. 

The end

**Author's Note:**

> I can’t believe I posted this
> 
> Welp
> 
> If anyone else has prompts (as you can probably tell, I am willing to try anything lol) feel free to reach out to me in the comments or on my Tumblr: immacryyowzah
> 
> Have a good day :)


End file.
